As I reflect on the last two weeks of my life, I can see that I’ve been in many places. I’ve been in extreme anxiety. I’ve been in complete synchronicity. I’ve been fully engaged. I’ve been innovative. I’ve dropped down to hopelessness for a few seconds. And I’ve definitely been frustrated.
When I felt the most anxious, I was getting on an airplane in Chicago a couple of weeks ago, and as I walked into the airport, I looked around at people, and the more I allowed myself and my thoughts to grow on themselves, I started to look at every single person as a threat to my health and every single person as a threat to my ability to earn a living. I wasn’t really afraid of getting sick and dying, it was being afraid of getting sick and not being able to work.
As I was getting on the airplane, I was in this hypervigilance thinking and strategizing where to sit so that I wouldn’t get sick, as I noticed all these people sneezing and coughing at the airport. One would sneeze and I would say, Oh